yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
