i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize
