Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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