I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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