I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize