So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
