At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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