Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
