i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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