I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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