i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She's the barista slut.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
