Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He shit in the fireplace
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
