I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize