Just fell off a train. Bad.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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