on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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