Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
