whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize