It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sobbing to NWA
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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