Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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