Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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