we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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