I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
