So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize