She is in my trunk
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
