All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
