question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
