I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
