Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
