I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
