she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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