please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
