I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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