I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
