Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
