So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
