I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My vagina just clenched in fear
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
