wrigley field is MILF paradise
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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