Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she pinky promised me she was 18
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
