wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
