porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
