yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
