Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
