So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We're too hungover to prance.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize