my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
