Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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