is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
