Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
