everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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