So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
be right there i have to get my cape
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
