If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I will be naked everywhere
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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