you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
3pm strippers are depressing
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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