so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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