He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
