that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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