I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
