you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
