I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
