If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
