it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
