if we break up, who will get the dealer?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
