haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
tell me about the eggs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
