she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
