i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
