I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
