Heybabeimwearingurpanties
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
