"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think I died a long time ago.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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