i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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