i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She's not a foreskin expert like you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
