lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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