I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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