btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize