brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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