she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
